Week Seven: Beauty – a social identity?

Over this break I have had the opportunity to discuss the topics in class with my family and friends from high school; the discussion went great and I’m glad they were more willing to have a conversation than those at college. 

One topic that almost all those I talked with was beauty and whether or not you could consider it a social identity. They made the argument that it’s something that greatly affects you socially and your experience is crossed with the other social identifiers.

To say this would mean there was an objective hierarchy in attractiveness, something not many are willing to agree with, as beauty is in the eye of beholder. That said, I think we can agree that there are certain attributes society has deemed as more attractive than others and possession of these attributes makes the person beautiful.

This intrinsic quality, attained through winning a genetic lottery, effects us all; those lucky few are elevated in status and can overcome the negatives of their other social identifiers while those who society deems “ugly” are faced with yet another obstacle to overcome.

Hope no ones gets offended and I hope you offer your opinions

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Week Eight: Relationship Abuse

Last week I met a girl who is in an abusive relationship and I was very confused on how to deal with the situation. She told me that she knew that the situation she was in was unhealthy and something needed to change but she also admitted to me that she was in love with her abusive boyfriend and that love superceeded the pain she was experiencing.

I was very torn; I wanted to help but she was refusing my assistance. I really want some advice how to deal with this situation because I fear if nothing happens that things will only get worse.

Not sure if this is the right place to discuss this but I really want some input, not only on this specific case, but on relationship abuse in general

Week Nine: Trophy Husband

I have recently entered romantic relations with a woman, Holly, who is much older than me; she is 29 while I am 21. After seeing each other for about 2 months, this past weekend, I invited her to come to a vineyard with me upstate. My parents, very insistently, invited themselves to our affair so the day actually became a double date. It all went well and we had a good time but after I dropped her at the train station and had a chance to recap the day with my parents privately I was very suprised at their reactions.

Holly is the granddaughter of the founder of FedEx and is set to earn a big inheritance upon his death. My parents didnt make a big deal out of it when we first mentioned it to them but privately my parents put alot more emphasis on the financial benefits of seeing her. My father especially, who just so happens to make a fraction of what my mom brings home, made it clear that I should “knock her up quick” and cash out on this opportunity. They were so supportive of me giving away my youth to start my life with this woman just because the financial stability that it was actually alarming. I asked them how they would feel if my sister were to do the same and Ive never seen someone do a 180 so quickly. My dad was appauled at the idea of my sister being a trophy wife while he was more than reccomending me to choose that path myself.

Not sure how to describe this situation but I can definitely see that being a man, at least in my family, made it more acceptable to be this “trophy husband” while my sister would be condemned for even thinking about dating an older man.

 

Week Ten: Too Much Pride?

As Ive mentioned before, I live with a pretty diverse group of people. We all have our ethnic flags up in our respective rooms and we are collectively pridefully of our roots.

We had some friends over and one of them mentioned that they dont like the fact that people were so prideful of their countries as it was exclusionary; this really got me thinking. Is pride in ones country inherently saying you are better than everyone else? I can now see how it could come off that way and wouldnt want my pride to have such a connotation

I saw this happen during the punchout that happened this past saturday. It was latin weekend so naturally most of those in attendance were hispanic but there were quite a few black and white people in the line while I was waiting to pay. As the line got shorter I noticed that while the hispanic and black party goers were let in without hassle, almost all of the white students were either not allowed in or were charged double at the door. This type of exclusion is precisely why I personally dont like sticking to my own racial group like many choose to do. While I can understand that being surround by those who you have so much in common with is comfortable and secure, I dont like how it creates a wall and divide between cultures which typically, but of course not always, ends with resentment coming from both sides.

I appreciate my friend for giving me this insight and I shall be taking down my Puerto Rican flag and it shall be replaced with an American one, something we can all be proud to call ourselves.